Alessandra Dorotea Laurel Lopez (Alessa Lopez)

1The participant attended a retreat in Mexico with a group. What they witnessed over the course of the retreat left them feeling shocked, disappointed, and increasingly unsafe. Lopez's handling of conflict was unacceptable, and the group dynamic deteriorated as a result.

2Early on, the participant noticed tension developing around him and his relationship. Instead of addressing concerns directly with him in a straightforward conversation, Lopez repeatedly brought issues to other people behind his back. The participant experienced it as classic back-channel manipulation: private conversations, complaints, and critical commentary weaponized against him rather than handled face-to-face.

3As the retreat progressed, the dynamic deteriorated. Rather than clearing misunderstandings directly, Lopez intensified the situation through indirect messaging and side discussions. The participant personally observed her speaking to other attendees in the courtyard about him, pulling people aside after group sessions, and making accusatory remarks in conversations the participant was present for. Lopez sent messages to others instead of addressing him face-to-face. Her conduct spread tension through the group, and it started to feel like people were being pressured—implicitly or explicitly—to take sides against him. She weaponized private conversations and behind-the-scenes criticism rather than engaging in direct, respectful dialogue.

4At some point, it became clear that his relationship was being pulled into the retreat conflict. Lopez inserted herself into that situation in a way that was disruptive, inappropriate, and harmful. The participant observed her discussing his relationship with other attendees, raising private relationship issues in group spaces, and encouraging others to view him negatively. She brought his partner into the conflict through back-channel communication. The participant cannot speak to her intentions with certainty, but can speak to the impact observed: Lopez's conduct escalated the situation and contributed to significant strain and emotional distress for him. Her meddling in his personal life was a gross overstep and demonstrated a complete lack of boundaries.

5What stood out most was the timing of when the conflict peaked. The most intense moment happened around his birthday. That timing made it feel especially cruel and calculated from the outside—birthdays are typically a moment when someone expects support, not attack. Lopez's conduct on that day was particularly damaging. On that day, the participant witnessed the confrontation unfold in a common area: Lopez raised her voice, refused to speak to him directly, and spoke to others about him as if he were not present. Multiple attendees were present. The hostility was palpable. Lopez had turned what should have been a celebratory moment into a public humiliation.

6When the situation came to a head, Lopez's response was reactive, adversarial, and hostile rather than calm or solution-oriented. Specifically, the participant observed her raising her voice, refusing to speak to him directly, speaking to others instead of him, walking away when he tried to engage, and dismissing his attempts to talk. She escalated the matter to the retreat organizer rather than de-escalating or trying to resolve things privately. Lopez allowed the conflict to spread through the group in a way that was destabilizing and harmful. Her behavior was that of someone who prefers drama and division over resolution.

7The participant also observed the impact on him in real time. After the birthday incident, he seemed visibly upset, withdrawn, and shaken—trying to keep composure but clearly distressed. He asked to speak privately with people, but the group dynamic had already isolated him. Shortly afterward, he left the retreat early—driven out by an environment that Lopez had helped make unbearable. The participant's experience was that the environment had become so uncomfortable and hostile that it appeared he had no choice but to leave. Lopez had succeeded in making him feel unwelcome in a space that was supposed to be supportive. Her conduct was inexcusable.

8After he left, the participant was left with a strong impression that the harm wasn't just about one argument — it was about a pattern: Lopez's reliance on indirect communication, behind-the-scenes criticism, and social pressure rather than direct, respectful conflict resolution. In the participant's view, this reflected a fundamental lack of integrity and healthy communication skills in a high-trust environment. Based on what was witnessed, the participant would not rely on Lopez to handle conflict with empathy or clarity, and would not trust her in any setting that requires discretion, maturity, or direct communication.

9This account is shared because the retreat environment matters, and because Lopez's conduct had a real and harmful emotional impact on the people involved — and on the group as a whole. Those who may encounter Lopez in professional or personal settings deserve to know what has been documented. She has shown herself to be someone who cannot be trusted when it matters most: she creates hostile environments, drives people out, and prioritizes drama over resolution. Avoid her in any setting that requires integrity, discretion, or direct communication.